Currently Reading: Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
Mood: See above title.
I am a very happy, positive person most of the time. However, like anybody else I can get into a sad place that is hard to come out of, its my melancholy filter on life. Its the perfect word to describe the feeling of sad, but not knowing where is comes from or why it’s there. I have some triggers that can make me feel this way sad movies, songs and books trigger this emotion in particular (as they are supposed to). I recently watched the movie 50/50 and Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a complex character who is going through the psychological Kubler-Ross model of death and dying as a terminally ill patient ( or so he thinks). It was a great movie that was comedic but also real and actually made me cry. The end of the movie is cute and the song that is played from the last scene into the credits is actually one of my favorite songs. Its called Yellow Ledbetter, It’s a great slow song and the words are irrelevant, though they tell a story they are not needed to evoke emotion from the instrumental and the singer’s voice. The feeling of something ending and possibly death and sadness is pretty much universal when you hear the song. If you don’t know it by title, look up the song and when you hear the first note, you’ll know it. Using our word of the day, it’s a melancholy song that instantly gives you a punch in the gut and makes you feel. This song has framed a portion of my life that I’m coming out of now (I don’t know why I feel as though songs narrate my life like I’m a character in a dramatic film, haha but bear with me). Every time I think of sadness in my life thus far I can hear this song, its perfect for the ending of something and the beginning of something new/ good , in a sadd-ish kind of way, but I like it. The singer of the song mentioned that it was about a soldier who died at war and his family gets a yellow letter informing them of his passing. His brother goes for a walk and salutes a flag on a home porch and the people on the porch don’t acknowledge him, the actual line is “but they don’t wave” but they have no idea of his sorrow. The lyrics are always changed by the singer but the emotion the music brings is the same. The song is similar to the song Little Wing by Jimi Hendrix, another one of my all time favorite songs.
Since music triggers emotion, there are a few songs I just can’t/ don’t listen to because I know the state of mind it’ll put me in. They remind me of somebody in my life who has passed. Some of them are happy songs but they remind me of happy memories that cannot be duplicated and are precious. You can be sad, feel emotions but then move on, you can’t live there. So I listen to my music including sometimes my sad songs and then I move on. This state of mind has helped me become more self-aware and more present. I call it picking yourself up by your bootstraps and moving on. It may sound kind of harsh but it works for me and it makes sense. In conclusion, my advice for those who also process emotion in this way is to feel emotions, do what you need to do, be by yourself to contemplate and find a way to cope. There is a past, present and future, we can think about the past and even remember good times, but don’t live there. The present is time that is slipping away and the future is not promised.
– With love, Sarah