I want to be many things. Just as a little kid wants to be a doctor, astronaut and a soldier all in one afternoon. I have a desire to be a fucking superhero one day and then I regret being too much of a coward to be a real super hero and join the Marines. As a child I was that kid who felt the obligation to be a police officer because they were needed to keep the peace and keep us safe I felt the need to be one so others wouldn’t need to and so I could protect and serve the community. I then realized that number one I’m a coward and probably wouldn’t make it and two- as much as I want to be a badass it’s just not in the cards for me. I still watch war movies and have a hero complex; part of me thinks I should of joined the army maybe Air Force. I do regret it. Not finding myself enough to realize I can do whatever I want in this world and maybe I really am called to serve, but I love my life. Some days I want to be a rockstar and I get my guitar out and learn a few more chords and then I realize rock is dead and that makes me wanna be a fucking rockstar even more so I keep practicing because ….. who doesn’t want to be a rockstar.. duh.
I can’t say it’s regret per say because I would be scared shit if I joined the army or marines or Air Force. The confidence and knowledge required intrigues me but I don’t know if I would be able to see it through. I guess I’m just saying don’t be afraid of anything you’re passionate about, I still watch a few good men and yell “you can’t handle the truth” as Jack Nicholson does pretending I’m a badass officer making my own calls. I also watch movies like Olympus has fallen and get so angry when the white house is taken over I’m the one watching who says “we don’t negotiate with terrorists…. send a nuke to their homeland.” What can I say…… I’m a badass wrapped up in a 5’1 115lb package.